No good deed goes

Unpunished. I am such a lousy person. I went over to my great-grandmother's house today. She did some crying, I did some crying. But for some reason, I still feel like a horrible person. I don't get over there enough and she only live 3 blocks from my house. Part of my problem is that when I go there I keep expecting to see my grandpa sitting in his chair reading a book about cats that are dectives. When I am there, I remember back to when I was a kid and my great grandma would chase my sister and me up the stairs to the attic and we would play house, or we would go into her art room and draw and paint. Then I have to remember to come back to reality and see my grandmother as a frail 94 year old woman, who can't chase my sister and me up the stairs anymore. She was telling me the stories about how my grandpa was a preemie when he was born. That his mother warned her to take care of him because he was such a small man. She told me that when they got together, he only weighed 112 pounds. There is just so much that Mike's passing has made me realize. Life is too short to not make that visit to the one's you love. I need to make a better attempt to get my kids to see my great grandmother. I know I don't have much longer to see her. I know that she will always be with me. But, I'm not ready to let go. I miss my grandpa. I miss my brother in law. It was always a treat for Mike to show up out of the blue. Why do these things have to happen? Why is there a such thing as murder. Death I can deal with. But untimely death? What the hell? This is so not fair. My husband is really not doing good at all with this. He is starting to not eat. He isn't sleeping well at all. Me on the other hand. I seem to crash. I feel that my body just shuts down. I don't even dream anymore. I am exhausted and stressed out. I can't stand all this sadness. I can't stand all this anger. I don't know what to do to make Bobby feel like he is important. I know that my family doesn't really care for Bobby, however, he didn't deserve to have his little brother taken from him. But I need to get. We have neglected the laundry and I need to get my work clothes in the dryer before I go to bed. I am going to deal with life as best I can. But for now, live life to the fullest and my favorite "prepare for the worst and hope for the best."
Mike, please take care of your family the best way you can. You are in a better place now and I know you are happy. We might be sad about losing you physically. We won't see your grin or the blue eyes that we love so much. But we will still have you through Megan, Hailey, and Slade. They miss you so much already as we all do. We never know what we have until it is gone. I am just so glad that Bobby got to talk to you before you had to leave. He loves you more than words can say. My girls love you and miss you too. But until we meet again, we love you.

He didn't deserve this....

My brother in law Mike Cobb was found dead in his home in Pryor, Oklahoma. He left behind 3 beautiful children, Megan, Hailey, and Slade. Megan is 17 years old and lost her mother 2 years ago. Hailey and Slade are 6. Those two worshipped the ground their daddy walked on. Where ever Mike was you would find Slade not too far behind. Mike also coached the twins ball teams. There is just something very suspicious about this whole ordeal. Mike was found in between his bed room and living room. The house was fully ingulfed in flames. The neighbors said that they think they heard a gun shot, and then an explosion. That was when 911 was called. The first report to the VFD was an explosion, then the second call came in to report that the house was on fire. My husband (Mike's oldest brother) had talked to Mike over the phone earlier that day. Mike called out of the blue to check on us. There is so much to sort through. I just can't believe that someone would take Mike away from his family like that. Bobby is holding up pretty well at the moment. He says that it has sunk in that his little brother is no longer with us physically, but I don't think it has. But Bobby has always greived a little bit differently. I am a little worried about leaving Bobby alone right now. He is so angry right now that I am afraid that he will lose his temper to the point of hurting himself. He would not be thrilled to know that I said that. So we will keep this between us. I just can't understand why someone would want to murder Mike. He was such a kind and generous man. He would do anything for you and even give you the shirt off his back. He was a hard worker and excellent provider for his family. He took such good care of his wife and family. Why would she feel the need to cheat on him? She was supposedly in Tulsa with the twins and her boyfriend at the time of the fire. There is nothing left of the house. It was burned all the way down to the foundation. The forensics team was brought in and even brought the K-9 out to sniff out anything that might be relevant. I just hope that we can get some answers. There is something about all of this that just doesn't add up. Well, time to get. Need to get to bed a little earlier than 3 am.